Somebody Could Have Warned Me!

How appropriate that Mama Kat posted this prompt for her writing workshop after my super wonderful Mothering posts the last few days. You've gotten to get a peek at the mothers round me and how they make me a step closer to saint hood j/k but in my eyes I can pretend what I want. Yesterday we took a little trip delving into maybe what the kids might see when looking at us. And today you get the TRUTH, well, as told by me and all the little things I overlooked not knowing until the minions arrived :)

So here are ten things I had no freakin idea about until I became a Mom...

1. Breakfast should always be ready...if you are awake or not...because THEY will ravage through a kitchen like a tornado and the looters that accompany them.

2. You can save yourself 2 million dollars by only buying Ramen Noodles, children (or mine anyway) will more than willingly eat those for every meal and indeed want seconds. So why bother.

3. If you are the spanking parent..you probably have good kids...but in some places it's frowned upon. CHILDREN KNOW THIS...who the hell told them? SO they might respond to their punishment with "I'll call CPS" and you can respond with..."well they'll have to find your body first" :)

4. Laundry baskets are a ploy to get all our hard earned money. You can spend a butt load on the coolest, most awesome, change your life kind of basket...there will never be any clothes IN it..beside it maybe, but never IN it. It will be used to build forts, carry supplies, and as a sled when it snows. I promise!

5. T.V.s and video games should never be put in your kids rooms. This is a grave mistake but you won't know it until report cards come home. *fingers crossed for Monday*

6. No one ever told me I would cry hysterically on BOTH my boys first days of school not wanting to let them go but then be reduced to tears every time the weather man wants them to stay home.

7. Chores are an easy concept one that I am willing to share equally with my family:) But be prepared to chose your delegation wisely or you will never know when you are out of dog food, detergent, windex, guinea pig bedding, or that the toilet brush is missing....until you need them.

8. No matter how healthy and germ free you try to be it's impossible with kids, they share everything! Socks, underwear, whistles, water bottles,toothbrushes, forks! And with all the tromping through the creeks and woods, rolling in the mud, storing turtles and frogs and what have yous in coolers and never washing their hands it's a germ heaven and a Mom's nightmare. On top of the fact if you have boys that never want to miss out on a moment of fun there is NO way they are gonna tell you their throat or head hurts. Which only means that you are the one that catches whatever they've had and then when you're finally sick...they hurt too :(

9. You'll be best friends with the School Secretary, between everything that the kiddos forget and you day after day give to her, and all the times that "they are sooo sick" and miraculously are cured when they get home will make you and her fast friends. Most of your daily communication via email will be with their teachers...cause you're a parent to what well call the "class sparkler" aka freakin class clown. And most of those emails will begin "Hey Lady, It's me again"
At least you have adult interaction???

10. They steal your heart, and it's the one thing you don't demand they give back! On a daily basis you will laugh over their shenanigans, cry over their growth and relish every minute you have left with them, even though they drive you crazy. They have your heart and nothing can change that. They are the best therapy for what ever emotion you need to work through, and I would risk life and limb for them. And that's something I never really understood until they were here <3
If someone would have only warned me :)